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Dealing with grief and trying to make sense of it all

2/16/2019

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He Last week after attending the funeral of my 19 year old son's girlfriend Marli, in the cool of the evening I was sitting having a quiet beer, pondering and reflecting. I was exhausted and emotionally spent. I put on Spotify and played some music to cheer myself up, something good for the soul.

When you're not really listening, it's strange how the lyric of a song can catch your attention. I still find it uncanny, that a song can be so timely and quite unsettling all at the same time. It raises questions for me that I can't answer or make sense of at this point in time. Yet, I hold on to my knowledge that God is present, God is love, He is grieving too, and He promises to turn bad things into good.

​I get it if you find this hard to believe.

Life can change in the blink of an eye
You don't know when and you don't know why
"Forever Young" is a big fat lie
For the one who lives and the one who dies
I watched my son - shovel in hand
Go from bulletproof boy to a full-grown man
The cool dark dirt on the casket lands
Nineteen years old and he's buryin' a friend
Oh, goodbye two boys, hello one man

This son of mine is gonna leave in the fall
Some might ask how he stands so tall
His life was changed with a telephone call
Not even he understands it all
I watched my son - shovel in hand
Go from bulletproof boy to a broken man
The cool dark dirt on the casket lands
Nineteen years…


Amy Grant 'Shovel in Hand'

Click here if you'd like to help

https://give.everydayhero.com/au/1000reasonsforMarli​
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I'M HEARTBROKEN - So what can I do? Can you help?

2/3/2019

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10000 burpees and 10000 push-ups, that’s what I can do
 
Towards the end of last year, I was asked to be a part of a fundraising initiative for my local hospital, the Prince of Wales at Randwick. I gladly accepted knowing that I would need the help of my fantastic school community to raise a goal of $10 000. Over 2019 I would promote the importance of health and fitness in my school and wider community. It’s a great cause and I’m delighted to be a local Principal (a local Coogee boy too) helping other locals, because this is what ‘doing life together’ in community is all about hey!
 
So in January I set myself some fitness goals, with the help of my local gym and my trainer, JJ Coutts @outerstrengthfitness (JJ is also an awesome Claremont old boy). At the time I only had a vague sense of how I might go about raising this significant sum of money. Little did I realise how personally meaningful this project would soon become.
 
Just last week, on Sunday 27th January, my family was rocked by the sudden and tragic death of my son, Gulliver’s beautiful 18 year old girlfriend Marli. You perhaps have seen this news in the Herald see link to SMH or on the TV. As the headline reads;
 
‘She made one mistake and that’s it’: Teenager dies after party drug overdose
 
When it comes to learning, we teach kids that it’s okay to make mistakes. In fact, we recognise that mistakes are good being an important aspect of deep learning. Taking a drug, however, is not a mistake that anyone can afford to make. The risk is simply not worth it. In Marli’s case, her mistake was totally unforgiving, and she had no opportunity for learning or second chances.
           
So we are all heartbroken, sad beyond words, and very much in a state of shock and disbelief. Please pray for Marli’s family and circle of friends, particularly leading up to the funeral later this week.
 
There’s no way to understand such a senseless tragedy, but what I do know is that I can make a difference. With your help, I will raise $10 000, which will be directed to the Prince of Wales (POW) new Emergency and Intensive Care Units. I will do what I can to teach kids and empower them with the awareness and skills to say ‘no’ to drugs. To add weight to the importance of this issue, I was told that last weekend, four teenagers were rushed to POW Emergency for drug overdose related issues. This is a problem that impacts us all ...our children, their parents, families, and our community suffers. Things have to change.
 
One solution for the well-being crisis that is currently impacting our children and young people, is found in education, health and fitness. Our kids must grow up having a sense of purpose that comes from positive relationships, personal identity, belonging, contributing as we ‘do life’ together as members of a healthy, inclusive community. It’s locals helping locals and this needs to become embedded into the very DNA of what we’re all on about.
 
I love this Bible verse from 1 Corinthians 13:13
"until then, there are three things that remain:
faith, hope, and love
yet love surpasses them all. So above all else, let love be the beautiful prize for which you run.”

So let's run with love!

I hope that you might be happy to share this journey with me, over the next 6 months as I work towards these goals. I’ll be doing some blogging to keep you posted about my progress.
 
Please help me to get the message out and if you have any creative ideas for helping, please be in touch. Please connect me with others who might like to run alongside.
 
Your donations are tax deductible through the POW Foundation via my ‘Every Day Hero’ fundraising page. Click here to make a donation. 
 
Thanks a million,
with love,
Doug
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